topksiazki.org

Spotyka sie dwoch mezow:
- Slyszlem, z twoja zona rozbila twoje nowe Porsche. Stalo jej sie cos?
- Jeszcze nie, zamknela sie w lazience...

Przychodzi facet do domu, patrzy a tu zona kocha sie z innym. Podchodzi i zaczyna zonie wypominac:
- Jaka ty jestes. Chcialas futro - kupilem Ci, chcialas bizuterie - kupilem Ci, chcialas samochod - kupilem Ci, chcialas... Czy moglby pan przestac kiedy ja mowie?

W goralskim kosciolku wystrojone gazdziny klecza przed oltarzem i modla sie zarliwie. Nagle jedna pierdnela. Zaczerwieniona, probujac odwrocic od siebie uwage innych, chwycila sie za nos i zaczela sie rozgladac wokol, pytajac:
- Ktora to, ktora?
Stara Maciejowa ze zdziwieniem:
- A coz to, Jaskowa? Dwie d... macie, z nie wiecie, ktora?

Chcesz miec dzieci silne, zdrowe kup im wino owocowe.

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus one turned to another and said So what did you bring The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the Grandma Moses of Jail. Then he asked the first What did you bring The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said I brought cards. I can play poker solitaire gin and any number of games. The third convict was sitting quietly aside grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked Why are you so smug What did you bring The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said I brought these. The other two were puzzled and asked What can you do with those He grinned and pointed to the box and said Well according to the box I can go horseback riding swimming roller-skating...